It was drizzling, and I was trying my best to not let your thoughts creep into my mind, again. But let me confess, I failed. With each drop of rain making love to the earth, my heart crumbled in the pain of not having you by my side. I never needed a friend. Maybe because I never had any. But I had always needed you, as a friend. I needed you to ask me how my day was, and I needed you to kiss me when I had an intolerable period pain. I needed you to breathe in an air which only whispered to me one name – yours. I romanticised you from the morning. I thought of you to be lying down beside me on such a rainy morning, whispering to me sweet nothings. I imagined you to make calm and excruciatingly painful love to me, as I moved my fingers up and around my body. I imagined you clad in your boxers and that loose grey t-shirt, jumping around the whole room, screaming a new Eminem song. I literally felt you standing in front of me, with that puppy-eyed look, asking me to kiss you, because you made me my favourite coffee.
Then. Then I woke up in this reality. I realized that you are long gone. I realized that you are no more mine. I realized that I do not make the slightest difference to your life, anymore. I realized that no matter how much I miss you and yearn for you, you will never be mine, again. Because you were never mine, in the first place. But trust me, you meant the entire universe to me. You still do. And no matter how much I hate to say this, I love you. And I will always love you. Because you are my one in a gazillion, and there will be none like you. I promise.
Featured photo via ngg.ng